Build Date: Fri Jul 11 14:21:33 2025 UTC
Do you understand the words coming out of my mouth? I doubt it, but I still keep trying.
-- Head Freezin' Gene
The chicken story
2007-04-13 18:19:34
So I go to CVS to buy the personal lubricant, for the chicken..
So I find the aisle in the store where it is stocked and wow. I was not aware that there were so many choices of personal lubricant available. I figured K-Y, Astroglide, and maybe some generics. I was stunned. There are tons and tons of these products! Scented, spray-on, warming, flavored, different colors. When did this happen? I stood there looking at the the five shelves of personal lubrication that stood before me.
And I must have looked bewildered. Because a CVS employee, a man, came over to ask me if I needed help. In my head I was telling myself "Just say no, just say no, he'll go away, just tell him no." But I didn't do that. I said that I was looking for a personal lubricant that was plain, that didn't have any fragrance or smell or warming stuff, just a plain simple one. And he asked if there was an allergy issue or something.
And I said...... "No, its for a chicken."
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
It's that time of year again -- Burning Man Season -- and that means fresh SCIENCE! Here is a new lab experiment for the fruity hillbilly in all of us. (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
