Burn them ALL! ALL of THEM!


Boscoe the Turtle Has Cashed His Check
2002-04-25 21:55:12

Animal Rampage
It's like coming back to your hometown to see the town hall's clock still stopped at 10:04. Isn't it reassuring?
-- Sneakums


I found this on the ground the other day as I was walking to the laundromat. I think these are instructions on how to poison turtles! What kind of world do we live in?


2 cups a day -- Twice Give him 1 pink pill w/food

Turtles Please feed sometime on Friday. The food is on top of the tank.

Plenty of small pellets & 10-12 large stinky pellets

We'll be back about 7 PM on Saturday...

So, you be the judge. Sure, there are the obvious dead giveaways... give them the stinky pellets, and bizarre references to mysterious "pink pills"... but maybe this is all innocent stuff. Maybe a family of macabre turtle killers doesn't live nearby...in Oakland... where Boscoe waits happily for a weird pink pill that makes him very, very sleepy.

Yeah, I could just be imagining all this stuff. Yeah, that's it. There's no anti-turtle conspiracy here, no, none at all. Move along, nothing to see....

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.


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