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They wouldn't be heroes if they were infallible, in fact they wouldn't be heroes if they weren't miserable wretched dogs, the pariahs of the earth, besides which the only reason to build up an idol is to tear it down again.
-- Lester Bangs

My Pseudojournalism Is Yellow!

by Miles Standish

2001-05-19 01:24:47

A few days ago I urged you all to go hunt this ape-monster. What have I wrought?

Wow. Now there's bands of angry Indians roaming the streets, looking for the ape-monster. Some people say it's a person in an ape mask, and those very same people are going around beating up suspected ape-mask-wearers. Like, they find people sleeping on roofs, and beat them up because they might be the ape-man! Torch wielding mobs! Violence in the streets! Anarchy! Lions having sex with lambs and creating leo-sheep-things! Um, what was I talking about again?

Oh, the ape guy. Apparently, it's got metal claws, red eyes, and green glowing chest. Police are talking about mass "fear psychosis", but there's also a $1000 reward for capturing the ape-monster, so it's sort of a mixed message.

One such rioter was quoted as saying, "Uh, I'm just here to take pictures of the monkey-man. Oh, and Pigdog told me to say they sent me."

Okay, I'm lying about that last part.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

burton@pigdog.org

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