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Fabio Latest Victim of Insane Animal Hostility
1999-03-31 20:32:00


Animal Rampage
 
put down the patchouli
-- Donkey Hotey

 

Butter-substitute enthusiasts everywhere breathed a huge sigh of relief recently when male supermodel Fabio emerged bloodied but unbowed from a vicious confrontation with a kamikaze goose in Virginia.

The goose, tracking the beefy Italian Creatine poster boy and romance novelist's movements, zeroed in on Fabio while he was riding a roller coaster at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, VA and attacked his face with terrible force, gouging an inch-long rut into the bridge of Mr. Fabio's much-photographed nose. Isn't it odd that these animal hoodlums can pinpoint Fabio's location on a rollercoaster in Virginia, yet none dare call it conspiracy? And if Fabio is not safe, then who among us truly is?

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

wary@pigdog.org


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