Build Date: Wed Aug 13 22:20:45 2025 UTC
"Squeal like a pig." Just saying the line conjures up images of Hillbillies and Ned Beatty's sweaty pink face. It's a powerful image, jammed into the American psyche like a fat Hillbilly cock in a tiny city-dweller's anus. The image will just not go away, no matter how hard you try.
-- enigma
Fabio Latest Victim of Insane Animal Hostility
1999-03-31 20:32:00
Butter-substitute enthusiasts everywhere breathed a huge sigh of relief recently when male supermodel Fabio emerged bloodied but unbowed from a vicious confrontation with a kamikaze goose in Virginia.
The goose, tracking the beefy Italian Creatine poster boy and romance novelist's movements, zeroed in on Fabio while he was riding a roller coaster at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, VA and attacked his face with terrible force, gouging an inch-long rut into the bridge of Mr. Fabio's much-photographed nose. Isn't it odd that these animal hoodlums can pinpoint Fabio's location on a rollercoaster in Virginia, yet none dare call it conspiracy? And if Fabio is not safe, then who among us truly is?
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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High Availability Guinness Stress Test
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40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
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Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)