Burn them ALL! ALL of THEM!

     
 

When Animal Breeding Goes Horribly Wrong
2000-01-17 16:47:57


Animal Rampage
 
If your 87 year old Aunt Edna all of a sudden started handing out fresh tabs of acid, would you complain about how embarrasing and un-hip Edna is with her rocking chair and Alzheimers n' all, or would you just shut up and enjoy this unexpected bounty...
-- Patient Joab

 

What's a poor rural hick to do for entertainment, now that cow tipping has gone out of style? May we suggest Goat Yelling?

Among the species known as Capra Hircus, there is a rare and quite bizarre genus known as The Tennessee Fainting Goat. The Fainting Goat is a high-strung beast. When it is startled, it will stiffen up and fall over giving the appearance of fainting or dying.

The goats, which are a recognized breed, are afflicted with the condition known as Myatonia. Because of this blatant violation of the fight or flight natural law, the goats were used primarily to protect herds of sheep (when a predator would move in for the kill, the startled goat would keel over, providing the attacker a buffet, while the sheep ran to safety). These days, the goats are used to amuse small children and members of college fraternities.

I am told that in Northeast Montana, there is a farm that raises an entire herd of these poor animals for the specific purpose of letting Canadian demon people from Alberta scream at them for a monetary ammount. I predict that very soon, this breed will also be well known for being the only animal aside from humans that suffers from heart attacks.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

hapsburg@pigdog.org


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