Gentle Reader, The Word will leap on you with leopard man iron claws, it will cut off fingers and toes like an opportunist land crab, it will coil round your thighs like a bushmaster and inject a shot glass of rancid ectoplasm. -- WSB
I feel so damn old today after reading the news. Not
because of any of the usual things that I hear out of my
peer's mouths, but because of what happened at Columbine
High School this week.
You see, when I was growing up, if we needed to get out of an important test
that we knew we wouldn't pass even if Jesus came down and filled in the answers
for us, the only thing that could be done was to fake being sick. If that
wasn't possible, the only other alternative was to phone in a bomb threat.
To make it sound like it wasn't an obvious hoax, you had to be able to say what
type of bomb it was, when it was set to go off, and disguise your voice.
And believe me, it sounds easier that it actually was.
These days, all a kid has to do is hop onto the Internet, fire up an IRC
program, find the appropriate chat group, log on and type something to the
likes of "Tomorrow, I think I'll pick up where Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold
left off." Three minutes later, people are panicking, the school is closed,
and chaos rules the area.