Do you want some pie, boy? - Pigdog Journal

     
 

Sugar Aliens On The Run!!!
1999-06-05 13:05:31


Damn Ay-leens
 
Gentle Reader, The Word will leap on you with leopard man iron claws, it will cut off fingers and toes like an opportunist land crab, it will coil round your thighs like a bushmaster and inject a shot glass of rancid ectoplasm.
-- WSB

 

As all you E.T. hunters know by now, Seti@home has just started sending chunks of radio telescope space data out to home computers to scan for messages.

A few Skeptical Sams (some even in the deepest ranks of Pigdog) think that the chance of any cosmic creature sending us a signal in the narrow band of frequencies that SETI is listening to are SO bad that it's not even worth bothering. Others, however, disagree. They prefer to see the pie tin as half full, rather than half empty.

Sure, the chances of finding alien life are slim, but if we *do* make contact with an alien civilization then, you know what? We'll have access to some **unbelievable** pie recipes!! I mean those aliens, being of superior intellect n' all, must have some outrageous space-age desserts. Man, I bet they're shoving some *killer* pecan pie down their food tubes (or whatever it is they use to eat with) right now!

Their pastry science is quantum years beyond that of our mere earthling efforts! They have flavors our tastebuds can?t even register! They may even have anti-matter sprinkles! Think about it. Our own primitive confectioneries must pale pathetically compared to their intergalactic slices.

Of course, actual evidence of such cosmic vittles has been limited to merely after-dinner speculation- until now!!! We have just received a shocking news report, from the respected UFO magazine Fate, that aliens have been filching the supplies at one of the LARGEST sugar refineries in the world! This can only mean one thing: them ay-leens are fixin' to bake themselves some serious pie! Wee-HAW!

El Destino contributed to this report.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

junkyarddog@pigdog.org


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