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Free Stickers from the STW Alien Resistance Movement
1999-05-25 03:30:25


Damn Ay-leens
 
This I can promise you: bearded women lying on their backs and pulling their anuses open is as low as I go.
-- Mr. Bad

 

If you too are getting fed up with aliens (especially the Zeta Reticulans, AKA "grays") and all of this kidnapping, perverse reproduction experimentation, mutilation of livestock, and skulking about in flying saucers all the time, now you can fight back with FREE stickers, and other alien resistance stuff!

One day in traffic I saw a hillbilly truck with a bumper sticker that had a picture of an alien (a gray) with a gun to its head, and the slogan, "Aliens Suck!" So I knew there were groups out there actively opposing the activities of these apparently malevolent beings that visit our planet so often -- mostly underground and rural.

Many people wonder, why is it that these little bug-eyed bastards seem to be reported most often by hillbillies and those in rural areas? The reason is simple. It's the hillbillies... rednecks, hicks -- whatever you want to call them -- who the aliens fear most. A hillbilly is likely to be armed, and take a "shoot first, ask questions later" attitude. Unlike our leaders, they are idealists, and wont settle for some sort of compromise in which the aliens are allowed to harvest only a "few" humans for their nefarious purposes in exchange for leaving the rest of us alone...

The aliens are working on this hillbilly problem. And it is a terrible problem for them if they wish to control this world. According to J. W. Williamson Ph.D., Appalachian researcher, and author of, Hillbillyland: What the Movies Did to the Mountains and What the Mountains Did to the Movies, hillbillies exist in just about every country in the world. They even have Chinese hillbillies!

But it is not fair to let our hillbilly population bear the brunt of the alien guerrilla war against humanity. It is time for the rest of the world to become aware of this grave situation. That's where the STW Alien Resistance Movement comes in. They have FREE anti-alien stickers. Get as many as you can, and paste them everywhere!

(Found on Memepool.)

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

jared@pigdog.org


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