Build Date: Tue Dec 30 15:00:08 2025 UTC
The chance that anyone has a bomb on a plane is very, very small. The chance that TWO people are carrying bombs is infinitessimally small. That's why I always carry a bomb with me when I fly. It improves my odds of surviving the flight without getting blown to bits.
-- enigma
Free Stickers from the STW Alien Resistance Movement
1999-05-25 03:30:25
If you too are getting fed up with aliens (especially the Zeta Reticulans, AKA "grays") and all of this kidnapping, perverse reproduction experimentation, mutilation of livestock, and skulking about in flying saucers all the time, now you can fight back with FREE stickers, and other alien resistance stuff!
One day in traffic I saw a hillbilly truck with a bumper sticker that had a picture of an alien (a gray) with a gun to its head, and the slogan, "Aliens Suck!" So I knew there were groups out there actively opposing the activities of these apparently malevolent beings that visit our planet so often -- mostly underground and rural.
Many people wonder, why is it that these little bug-eyed bastards seem to be reported most often by hillbillies and those in rural areas? The reason is simple. It's the hillbillies... rednecks, hicks -- whatever you want to call them -- who the aliens fear most. A hillbilly is likely to be armed, and take a "shoot first, ask questions later" attitude. Unlike our leaders, they are idealists, and wont settle for some sort of compromise in which the aliens are allowed to harvest only a "few" humans for their nefarious purposes in exchange for leaving the rest of us alone...
The aliens are working on this hillbilly problem. And it is a terrible problem for them if they wish to control this world. According to J. W. Williamson Ph.D., Appalachian researcher, and author of, Hillbillyland: What the Movies Did to the Mountains and What the Mountains Did to the Movies, hillbillies exist in just about every country in the world. They even have Chinese hillbillies!
But it is not fair to let our hillbilly population bear the brunt of the alien guerrilla war against humanity. It is time for the rest of the world to become aware of this grave situation. That's where the STW Alien Resistance Movement comes in. They have FREE anti-alien stickers. Get as many as you can, and paste them everywhere!
(Found on Memepool.)

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
On a hot spring night after dinner and before the night's serious drinking begins, a Romulan Highball really hits the spot. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)