Build Date: Mon Mar 2 09:20:08 2026 UTC
Little do people know that one day the Busey Clan will rise up and dominate the earth.
-- Roby
Use Your Home Computer to Hunt, Kill Ay-leens
1999-05-14 10:59:45
The SETI@Home project is finally up and running. You, too, can help LOCATE aliens across the galaxy. Scientists will use this information to destroy their nests with pinpoint accuracy! "I want to kill bugs, sir!"
SETI@Home is Carl Sagan's dream come true. Mr. Sagan, notable for his unending hatred of aliens and the horrible things they do to human asses, vowed to discover the dens of these intergalactic sodomists and bomb them back to the Stone Age! He died before his dream could come true, but now YOU can help kill some Grays.
See, SETI@Home works a lot like Distributed.net's RC-5 cracking software. Millions of hours of radio telescope data are passed out in packets to all the computers in the world that are running the SETI@Home software. (ASIDE: The software's available for Win32 and Macs -- I gotta say, where's the Linux, fellas? How can you do a CRAZY ASS PROJECT without some Linux software to go with it?)
Anyways, those computers search through the data looking for signs of intelligent signals (vs. random noise). The odds are pretty small that any one computer will find anything this way, BUT! the combination of thousands of computers crunching data makes it possible to process the information much faster than a NASA supercomputer can do.
This is the info they have on their Web site. What they DON'T say is that once we locate the signal, NASA will launch a huge RADIOACTIVE METEORITE in the direction of the signal to DESTROY THEIR EVIL CIVILIZATION before they can PUT STUFF IN OUR ASSES AGAIN.
So check it out. Download this software and help humanity by WIPING OUT AY- LEENS. Wee-haw!

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
The Cross Canadian Ragweed Red Dirt Roundup
Went to one of the only really enjoyable outdoor concerts I can remember (maybe I didn't enjoy it enough). The finest in dirty hillbilly music: The Cross Canadian Ragweed Red Dirt Roundup. For those ignorants, Cross Canadian Ragweed is a horrendous allergan in Texas, and it's also a band. In a great show of humility, CCR was the worst major act in their line up. Fortunately, they have talented friends. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)