Build Date: Fri Oct 23 12:33:49 2026 UTC
It's all about balance ...and sleep. Only I forgot what the sleep part is really like.
-- Bad Pixie
Use Your Home Computer to Hunt, Kill Ay-leens
1999-05-14 10:59:45
The SETI@Home project is finally up and running. You, too, can help LOCATE aliens across the galaxy. Scientists will use this information to destroy their nests with pinpoint accuracy! "I want to kill bugs, sir!"
SETI@Home is Carl Sagan's dream come true. Mr. Sagan, notable for his unending hatred of aliens and the horrible things they do to human asses, vowed to discover the dens of these intergalactic sodomists and bomb them back to the Stone Age! He died before his dream could come true, but now YOU can help kill some Grays.
See, SETI@Home works a lot like Distributed.net's RC-5 cracking software. Millions of hours of radio telescope data are passed out in packets to all the computers in the world that are running the SETI@Home software. (ASIDE: The software's available for Win32 and Macs -- I gotta say, where's the Linux, fellas? How can you do a CRAZY ASS PROJECT without some Linux software to go with it?)
Anyways, those computers search through the data looking for signs of intelligent signals (vs. random noise). The odds are pretty small that any one computer will find anything this way, BUT! the combination of thousands of computers crunching data makes it possible to process the information much faster than a NASA supercomputer can do.
This is the info they have on their Web site. What they DON'T say is that once we locate the signal, NASA will launch a huge RADIOACTIVE METEORITE in the direction of the signal to DESTROY THEIR EVIL CIVILIZATION before they can PUT STUFF IN OUR ASSES AGAIN.
So check it out. Download this software and help humanity by WIPING OUT AY- LEENS. Wee-haw!
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
