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Sen. John Glenn Reveals the Truth about UFOs
2001-03-10 01:38:37


Damn Ay-leens
 
Guinness is Pigdog and Pigdog is Guinness.
-- Johnnie Royale

 

"Back in those glory days, I was very uncomfortable when they asked us to say things we didn't want to say and deny other things. Some people asked, you know, were you alone out there? We never gave the real answer, and yet we see things out there, strange things, but we know what we saw out there. And we couldn't really say anything. The bosses were really afraid of this, they were afraid of the War of the Worlds type stuff, and about panic in the streets. So, we had to keep quiet. And now we only see these things in our nightmares or maybe in the movies, and some of them are pretty close to being the truth." - Senator John Glenn on NBC Tuesday, March 6, 2001.

OK, so he was appearing on Frasier, and it IS a comedy show, and his soliloqy into the camera, talking about "strange things," was a part of the comedy that did ensue, causing much laughter in the house.

Does NBC know how to fuck with believers in ayleens or what? Give that network credit! That show must have SERIOUSLY messed with some people's heads.

(Internal viewer monologue follows.)

"It's John Glenn! He was in space! He knows the truth."

"Omigawd. He's TELLING the truth. On camera, on NATIONAL TV."

"No wait, maybe it's just part of a joke, this IS a comedy show."

"No wait, it doesn't appear to have anything to do with the rest of the show."

"He really WAS just talking on camera! He had a moment to reveal the TRUTH, and HE DID!"

"Oh. Waitasec. This show is taped. It's owned by a big corporate network and THEY'RE PART OF THE CONSPIRACY THAT'S HIDING THE TRUTH. If what he was saying was true, they would have just edited it out."

"Now wait, it appears to be part of the show."

"No! John Glenn managed to WORK THAT IN. The pressure must've been too much, and he's revealing the truth. He just knows that the hammer won't come down if he makes it LOOK like a joke."

"No wait, maybe this is part of the government's plan to GRADUALLY REVEAL THE TRUTH! Yeah, that's it. First they made Independence Day, and then they slip details of what's going on to Chris Carter so he can work it into X-Files plot lines, now John Glenn is letting out little details on a comedy show! It's brilliant. When the Whole Truth is finally revealed, it won't be such a shock to most people."

"No wait, maybe it's just part of a joke, this IS a comedy show. I've been immersed in alien conspiracies so long, it's impaired my sense of humor. I CAN see the joke here. This IS funny. Ha ha."

"But maybe it's not."

"Maybe he worked it in as a joke, but he knows it's the truth, and he knows that there are people out here like me who will know it's the truth."

"Maybe I'm the only one who knows that this is the truth."

"Maybe that message was meant especially for me."

"OK, that's crazy-talk now man. THAT WAS JUST A JOKE. IT'S A COMEDY SHOW, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. LAUGH DAMMIT. LAUGH."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

cabin@pigdog.org


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