Build Date: Sat Oct 18 01:40:09 2025 UTC
Canadia should be dissolved and given to the Tongans.
-- Master Squid
Aliens Frame Man For Burglary
2000-03-10 18:08:05
A 37-year-old Iowan man was transported 180 miles by aliens who flung him threw a house window and then abandoned him, bleeding and confused, to be found by local police. I'm guessing they were using some sort of space/time continuum warping technology, but I'm still waiting for confirmation. The police, in typical non-believer fashion, claim the man was high on methamphetamines and charged him with second-degree burglary.
Man, those devious ay-leens are getting more sneaky and devious all the time! It was bad enough they kidnapped this poor man and erased his memory, but then to throw him through a window knowing he could never explain how he got there! Not to mention taking the brilliant step of altering the chemical composition of their anal-probe lube to resembe traces of Earth-methamphetamine!
None of us are safe!
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
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NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
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Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
