Build Date: Thu Oct 8 11:52:40 2026 UTC
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group
-- Unknown
Real Aliens Found And They're In Space!
2000-01-12 17:53:48
The American Astronomical Society, which I've never heard of but it sounds like an impressive name, reported HUGE MONSTER ALIENS located on other stars. Well, um, that is, the Infrared Space Observatory showed that it's pretty easy for organic molecules to form around other stars.
The monstrous aliens include acetylene, which is a building block for benzene, which in turn, forms complex hydrocarbons, which, in turn, acts as the building block for pink-purple amorphous entities with long probing eyestalks and vastly superior intelligence which seek only to destroy all goodness and engage in acts of sickening procreation with Earth human womenfolk, according to a very loose paraphrase of Sun Kwok, of the University of Calgary, Canada.
Kwok went on to say that there may also be amino acids manufactured around stars. He did not comment on whether these amino acids were part of super bulk- up formulas which the alien gibbering monsters used to grow to enormous size so that they could come to Earth and battle Godzilla in Tokyo.
"The question is, are we really Martians?" said Mauri Valtonen, of Finland.
Studies indicate, however, that despite Mauri's probing question, we are not Martians. At least, I'm not. Are you?
Well, are you?
LIAR!
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Boo-zho-lay for you, Pigdog reader! Another fine Spocktail of the week is available for you. And this week's offering is EXTRA special and fancy, since it celebrates the birthday of Pigdog's own STAR TWINS! (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
