Build Date: Mon Aug 11 04:00:53 2025 UTC
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
-- Tee Mans
Real Aliens Found And They're In Space!
2000-01-12 17:53:48
The American Astronomical Society, which I've never heard of but it sounds like an impressive name, reported HUGE MONSTER ALIENS located on other stars. Well, um, that is, the Infrared Space Observatory showed that it's pretty easy for organic molecules to form around other stars.
The monstrous aliens include acetylene, which is a building block for benzene, which in turn, forms complex hydrocarbons, which, in turn, acts as the building block for pink-purple amorphous entities with long probing eyestalks and vastly superior intelligence which seek only to destroy all goodness and engage in acts of sickening procreation with Earth human womenfolk, according to a very loose paraphrase of Sun Kwok, of the University of Calgary, Canada.
Kwok went on to say that there may also be amino acids manufactured around stars. He did not comment on whether these amino acids were part of super bulk- up formulas which the alien gibbering monsters used to grow to enormous size so that they could come to Earth and battle Godzilla in Tokyo.
"The question is, are we really Martians?" said Mauri Valtonen, of Finland.
Studies indicate, however, that despite Mauri's probing question, we are not Martians. At least, I'm not. Are you?
Well, are you?
LIAR!
T O P S T O R I E S
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