Burn them ALL! ALL of THEM!

     
 

Giant Space Turd Smashes into Australian Reservoir
1999-12-10 01:14:02


Damn Ay-leens
 
Beret-wearing, Citroen-driving, tofu-eating, espresso-drinking, electronica-listening, Ass-of-the-Man-kissing, Utne-reading, playa-hating whiteboy FREAK.
-- Tjames

 

A strange object from outer space hurtled into a reservoir in Guyra, Australia, and left a 40-centimeter-diameter tunnel in its wake, prompting scores of superstitious Aussie girly men to run around screaming about "little green men from Mars."

The object, which has since been determined to be a golfball-sized meteorite, left a 15-meter long rut in the ground leading up to the reservoir. Police divers called in from nearby Sydney to investigate the alien probe reported that the mysterious object, which prompted mass hysteria and a run on local bottled water supplies, was indeed a small meteorite which was "embedded about four metres into soft granite and cannot be removed."

Guyra is apparently renowned for nervous people who fear stupid things. The infamous Guyra Ghost supposedly terrorized a local family in the 1920s with "white stones and voices from the ceiling." Whatever that means.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

oarsman@pigdog.org


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