Build Date: Wed Sep 3 01:40:15 2025 UTC
It's the black bile and evil venom that gives me the strength to keep on living.
-- Bad Pixie
Ettack on America
2001-09-20 20:52:33
As a result of recent terrorist attacks on the world trade center and talks of retribution (AKA WW3), virus coders have found a perfect time to release their latest plague.
A new win32 based worm called Nimba is on the prowl and in the wild, hijacking the computer resources of innocent civilians. It doesn't even require the drooling microsoft outlook end-users to actually click on the child porn/love letter/advice query. It works by infecting the computer through a preview window in outlook, making it a risk to open any piece of email for the average know-nothing windows junkie.
What does the virus do? A dream for any user of Sharesniffer, the virus changes permissions on every file on the infected hard disk to allow full guest access to the system. No more having to waste time using pqwak and breaking into cheap win 9x cable systems, now the data on corporate NT systems around the internet is at the cybercriminal's full disposal. With the information in some of the .doc and .xls files on the victim's hard disk, thousand of dollars of credit card fraud could be committed allowing you to furnish your whole house with 1000 meter wireless ethernet gear and waterproof laptops.
Have those Model M's handy when the fallout hits, a few key clicks will seek out and attack the credit card number database of people making donations to whatever university or non-profit organization you choose. Searching for homemade porn is always fun on cable subscriber's computers, but thanks to the timing of Hezbollah, Fateh, and Bin Laden, the windows share peruser can explore the world of Fortune 500 America's consumer databases right here in September 2001.
Where do you want to go today?
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)