Build Date: Tue Jun 2 01:50:12 2026 UTC
When I
thought something was cool, you suggested that I hook my testicles up
to electricity.
-- Uncle Pedro
The One Trump Conspiracy That Will Explain Everything
2017-05-18 06:50:41
I have a theory that President Trump wants to be impeached. Maybe it's a desperate cry for help...
Here's a man who's spent his entire adult life under a billion dollars in crushing debt. With banks refusing to lend to him, his only source of cash is Russian mob money (or other nefarious black market types). He himself has no choice but to get into business with bad hombres. (So of course he's not going to release his tax returns...)
For years he's been trying to escape, grabbing on to one desperate venture after another. (Trump casinos! Trump university! A reality TV show with Gary Busey and Sinbad!) But the reason he sells these get-rich-quick schemes is he's urgently in need of one himself. A friend even said Trump only ran for president because he hoped it'd help him negotiate more money for the next season of Celebrity Apprentice.
This lifetime of servitude could explain Trump's reckless impulsiveness, his whole "What do I got to lose" attitude. (Because whatever bad things could happen, crossing the Russian malefactors would be worse.) You could almost feel sorry for him if you imagine some horrific extortionistic putting-on-the-pressure. There's already Deep State sources warning that Trump cabinet members could be subject to blackmail. (That's what bad hombres do...)
When Clinton called him Putin's puppet, he shot back immediately "You're the puppet." It was almost reflexive. He couldn't let that stand unanswered; that was the rawest nerve of all. According to The Washington Post, even Trump's closest ally has already confided to Republican leaders -- last summer -- that Putin might be funnelling money to Trump.
Years ago Robert Altman directed a forgotten movie about Nixon. After resigning Nixon privately reveals that his whole career had been orchestrated by wealthy investors. That he'd wanted to stop the Vietnam war, but his war-monger investors wouldn't let him. So Nixon made it happen himself. He used campaign funds to hire burglars, then recorded himself having incriminating conversations -- discussing bribes to the co-conspirators, instructing his staff to lie to the FBI. And, he fired his attorney general (as well as his Deputy Attorney General).
Trump did exactly what Nixon did. He fired his attorney general -- 19 weeks after taking office. Then he immediately invited Russians to the White House, and divulged classified secrets. He's even started taping his own incriminating conversations in the White House.
Is he crazy like a fox? Or is it all just a desperate cry for help.
Is he trying to get himself impeached?
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