Build Date: Thu Aug 20 16:00:13 2026 UTC
Yorgo the barman had a friend drive us to Zeitgeist where there was THE TAMALE LADY and I had tamales and chocolate and Guinness and rum and YOU ALL MISSED OUT ON THE GREATEST FUCKING NIGHT IN SAN FRANCISCO EVER AND I LAUGH AT ALL YOUR MISFORTUNES! That is, until tomorrow morning, at which point I will likely be in heavy Regret Mode.
-- Crackmonkey
Martian Dust-Up
2003-07-11 16:47:25
Something's happening on Mars, visible with even a small store-bought telescope. But NASA isn't saying what.
Thankfully, the dust cloud appears to be too large to be the dust-up from a missile launch, but still, one has to wonder what those Martians are up to. The Red Menace has been in hiding, and suddenly there's activity and they aren't hiding it from us. Could this be the test of some new doomsday weapon? The explosion from a power-generation experiment gone horribly wrong?
Speculation has run wild, but the flimsy cover story that NASA is feeding us—that this is just a natural dust storm—has raised suspicions that in fact this could be the result of covert U.S. Government action. Privately, some admit that if Saddam Hussein has in fact escaped to the Red Planet, that the U.S. would have no choice but to launch a preemptive interplanetary strike. Fortunately, Mars has not been granted admission to the United Nations and can be described as a "rogue planet," so no U.N resolution is required to pursue Saddam and his sons, Phobos Hussein and Deimos Hussein, beyond the ends of the planet.
The White House has declined to comment, so watch the skies! We don't know what could happen next.
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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