Build Date: Fri Jun 12 12:50:09 2026 UTC
Thirty-fifth Street. Home Sweet Home. Mosquito population...zero.
-- Doctor Murdock
NASA Says
2002-02-02 03:12:22
NASA has released criteria for visitors to the International Space Station. Bad People of the Future are most certainly not invited.
A partial list of the sins that will get you banned for life from the International Space Station includes habitual boozing, drug use, and, according to the Associated Press, "membership or sponsorship in organizations which adversely affect the public's confidence in the space station or its partners."
That pretty much guarantees that I will never visit the Internation Space Station. Nor will any of my friends or associates, for that matter.
The clause about organizational involvement is vaguely threatening. Just how many partners of the space station will you have to keep quiet about? Does this mean that anyone who publicly criticizes Lockheed Martin is prohibited from visiting the ISS?
How could the Russians agree to this? As there are no Cosmonauts that aren't raging drunks, this will mean the end to their space program.
C'mon, NASA, loosen up! A little kegger on the ISS would go a long way toward improving your public image. When people spend $20 Million on a vacation they expect to loosen up.
T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Place the Lighter on the Ground and Let Us See Your Hands
So I have been thinking on this whole flag burning issue and all the things it could imply. Now a lot of people right now are saying that there are more important issues at stake and something so trivial is a waste of time. Believing such is really losing sight of some very key changes happening in our nation right now. Being a strict conservative, and currently serving in Iraq, I was surprised to find that I am actually appalled that the House approved a ban on flag burning. (More...)
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
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During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
