Pure and simple as a hammer to the forebrain

     
 

Gravity and Beverages... The Universal equation
2001-11-24 13:14:27


Space, the Final Frontier
 
I'm not smug. I just have a list of people I want to see dead.
-- Head-freezin' Gene

 

Few can deny the wonder it would be, to kick back on a comfortable chair upon the Moon, to cast gaze over the Earth, rising in the Morning sun.

But within this dream we share, there is a problem...

Gravity ...A discoverey by Sir Issac Newton, published in his "Principia" of 1687; The problem is Gravity! (Or rather a lack thereof).

But why would this law, which holds us fast to our Mother Earth, be the source of any problem in our dream? After all... Man has conquered local Space. Time and again, in fact, we have broken the shackles which tie us to this Planet, and ventured forth to that shining disc in the sky called 'Luna'. So why then doth the laymen need fear?

...Beer...

Without Gravity, you can't have Beer! [*1*]

Thats right... Gravity has been, until recently, the forgotten part of the equation...

( Water + Barley + Hops + Yeast + Carbon Dioxide (+Gravity) = Beer )

"Carbonation cannot take place without Gravity!?" I hear you gasp!

Well, fear not intrepid Spacefreaks because help is at hand!

Our Friends at NASA have gone to the trouble of discovering a method not only of keeping and consuming Beer in Space, but even to *brew* it!

Yes friends, with the use of the "Fluid Processing Apparatus" utilised by Kirsten Sterrett, recently graduated from the University of Colorado, in her experiments on board an Industry Sponsored Space Shuttle, you too can brew Beer in the vast, black, weightless void that is Space!

In fact, it is actually more efficient to ferment your Beer in Space! So now, with this knowledge, we can finally look up and truly dream...

We can dream a complete dream... A full dream! A dream with Stars, Planets, comfortable chairs, morning light and yes... a beautiful cold glass of tasty Space Beer!

In Space, noone can hear you get pissed!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

sadist@pigdog.org


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