Build Date: Fri Jul 11 11:20:48 2025 UTC
We're basically twelve angry men and a couple of chicks...
-- Johnnie Royale
Pigdog Tracks Down Mr. T
2000-10-10 22:02:02
For those Pigdog readers that came of age in the early 80's, you'll remember the TV series the "A-Team". It was a show about 4 Vietnam vets on the run from the Army for a crime they didn't commit - forced to make a living in the LA underground as mercenaries righting wrongs.
The only thing that was worse then the acting, was the dialog. And the only worse then the dialog was their shooting. In every single episode, they'd always fire away at the bad guys with massive assault weapons on full auto at damn near point blank range and nobody EVER got hit. And don't get me started only how many times someone got in a major car rollover with out wearing a seatbelt and walk away smiling and brushing the dust off. Still, it was what the A-Team did... lots of firepower and big explosions and no body count.
It starred George Peppard as Col. John "Hannibal" Smith, some loser named Dirk Benedict as Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck, an indecipherable twit Dwight Schultz as Capt. "Howling Mad" Murdock and the reason the showed crawled across the 100 episode line needed for syndication, Mr. T (Lawrence Turead) as Sgt. Bosco "Bad Attitude" Baracus.
As L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg writing for the Brunching Shuttlecocks so recently and correctly points out "...Mr. T was and is the cornerstone of the A-Team franchise. Without him, the show might as well have been titled "Three White Guys Get Cancelled."
For those of you that have been wondering just what Mr. T's been doing, we have the answer. Making commercials for the Oregon Lottery. As usual, he's stomping around, scaring the hell out of the white folks. At least he least working in the Biz, as I think Mr. T. might have problems getting a job selling insurance or pumping gas. He's been type-casted worse then just about anyone in Hollywood, for that, "I pity the poor fool."
So if you want to hear Mr. T say "Who wants to give Mr. T foot rub?" to a tailer full of white people.
(Note: QuickTime viewer required)
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
The IBM Selectric Typewriter Changed My Life
I ran my hands lovingly across her frame, lightly brushing her metallic nipples with my fingers, admiring the shapes and the ways of her curves, the empathetic hum she produced as I had my way with her, the way she made it all seem so effortless and right... she didn't even seem to mind the way I roughly manipulated her knobs and tweaked her casing. She was extremely tolerant, for a typewriter. (More...)