Build Date: Fri Jul 11 13:20:53 2025 UTC
Arguing on Pigdog is like the Special Olympics: even if you win, you're still a retard.
-- Quaker State Tapioca Rupture
Pigdog Tracks Down Mr. T
2000-10-10 22:02:02
For those Pigdog readers that came of age in the early 80's, you'll remember the TV series the "A-Team". It was a show about 4 Vietnam vets on the run from the Army for a crime they didn't commit - forced to make a living in the LA underground as mercenaries righting wrongs.
The only thing that was worse then the acting, was the dialog. And the only worse then the dialog was their shooting. In every single episode, they'd always fire away at the bad guys with massive assault weapons on full auto at damn near point blank range and nobody EVER got hit. And don't get me started only how many times someone got in a major car rollover with out wearing a seatbelt and walk away smiling and brushing the dust off. Still, it was what the A-Team did... lots of firepower and big explosions and no body count.
It starred George Peppard as Col. John "Hannibal" Smith, some loser named Dirk Benedict as Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck, an indecipherable twit Dwight Schultz as Capt. "Howling Mad" Murdock and the reason the showed crawled across the 100 episode line needed for syndication, Mr. T (Lawrence Turead) as Sgt. Bosco "Bad Attitude" Baracus.
As L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg writing for the Brunching Shuttlecocks so recently and correctly points out "...Mr. T was and is the cornerstone of the A-Team franchise. Without him, the show might as well have been titled "Three White Guys Get Cancelled."
For those of you that have been wondering just what Mr. T's been doing, we have the answer. Making commercials for the Oregon Lottery. As usual, he's stomping around, scaring the hell out of the white folks. At least he least working in the Biz, as I think Mr. T. might have problems getting a job selling insurance or pumping gas. He's been type-casted worse then just about anyone in Hollywood, for that, "I pity the poor fool."
So if you want to hear Mr. T say "Who wants to give Mr. T foot rub?" to a tailer full of white people.
(Note: QuickTime viewer required)
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
My experiment is a failure. Rockstar-and-Robitussin tastes like day-after-Halloween bile. I'm trying to choke down enough to discover the effects, but no matter what those are one thing is certain at the outset: what I have discovered is not a Beverage, but a pale green and angry iced abomination.
You were right: science is not for the weak of will nor stomach. (More...)
Suru and I were at the local supermarket recently when we found ourselves in the booze isle, surrounded by rum. Banana rum, coconut rum, vanilla rum, unfiltered run, Jamaican rum, rum, rum, and more rum. We bought one of each and started experimenting... (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
