Build Date: Tue Oct 7 00:10:08 2025 UTC
Goddamn swamp dwelling, WebTV-using, OS/2 licking, dogshit gobbling hillbilly motherfucker!!
-- Ratsnatcher
Pigdog Tracks Down Mr. T
2000-10-10 22:02:02
For those Pigdog readers that came of age in the early 80's, you'll remember the TV series the "A-Team". It was a show about 4 Vietnam vets on the run from the Army for a crime they didn't commit - forced to make a living in the LA underground as mercenaries righting wrongs.
The only thing that was worse then the acting, was the dialog. And the only worse then the dialog was their shooting. In every single episode, they'd always fire away at the bad guys with massive assault weapons on full auto at damn near point blank range and nobody EVER got hit. And don't get me started only how many times someone got in a major car rollover with out wearing a seatbelt and walk away smiling and brushing the dust off. Still, it was what the A-Team did... lots of firepower and big explosions and no body count.
It starred George Peppard as Col. John "Hannibal" Smith, some loser named Dirk Benedict as Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck, an indecipherable twit Dwight Schultz as Capt. "Howling Mad" Murdock and the reason the showed crawled across the 100 episode line needed for syndication, Mr. T (Lawrence Turead) as Sgt. Bosco "Bad Attitude" Baracus.
As L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg writing for the Brunching Shuttlecocks so recently and correctly points out "...Mr. T was and is the cornerstone of the A-Team franchise. Without him, the show might as well have been titled "Three White Guys Get Cancelled."
For those of you that have been wondering just what Mr. T's been doing, we have the answer. Making commercials for the Oregon Lottery. As usual, he's stomping around, scaring the hell out of the white folks. At least he least working in the Biz, as I think Mr. T. might have problems getting a job selling insurance or pumping gas. He's been type-casted worse then just about anyone in Hollywood, for that, "I pity the poor fool."
So if you want to hear Mr. T say "Who wants to give Mr. T foot rub?" to a tailer full of white people.
(Note: QuickTime viewer required)
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