Build Date: Fri Sep 18 06:32:23 2026 UTC
God bless the drunks and the children, and the United States of America.
-- Mark Twain
Andre the Giant Has A Posse Comitatus
2002-04-18 13:20:38
Donald Rumsfield has stated that the creation of a military command whose sole mission is to defend American territory will not erode legal limits on using federal troops inside U.S. Borders. Please note that the federal government has an exciting way of using the word "not." Some fun examples: Income tax will be a temporary 2% tax and will *not* remain after it is needed, Social Security Numbers will *not* be used to uniquely identify and track U.S. Citizens, the recently created and disbanded military Department of Lying to the Press will *not* be used to lie to the press, and Census information is confidential and will *not* be handed over to law enforcement agencies for pursuing individuals. Not. I love that word.
Pardon me if I seem cynical. Why would I feel that way?
Could it be that recently the federal government has been making a routine of overriding state's rights to put the National Guard under federal control in cases of domestic need, wresting their use away from local governors in frequent "Title 10" invocations?
Could it be that this whole thing is hitting my fragile and redundant brain on the same day as I find out that the White House is considering subcontracting "e-government" rights to Microsoft and their miserable Passport technology?
Could it be that the more the press talks about homeland security and the constant overseas threat, the less anyone hears about Enron and other government-for-auction sellout scandals? Does anyone doubt that? I would love it if someone could mail me and tell me "No, the White House doesn't take military actions as a smokescreen for corruption flack!".
Could it be that the process of assigning new powers to the federal government is sticky? Um, that came out wrong. What I meant was, sticky like once you turn over the power, it's hard to get it back.
Could it be that I'm secretly an Anti-Federalist? Not so secret, I guess, but didn't that party sort of fade away a century or two ago?
Could it be that this is the first step in some kind of totalitarian nightmare? Absolutely not. This is far from the first step.
SWEET GEORGIA BROWN!

T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)