Everybody knows that US needs more oil, especially since the Bush Administration simply REFUSES to either mandate improved energy efficiency or more importantly, invest in any sort renewable energy technologies. So sooner or later we are gonna run out of oil and the Bush Administration has a plan to make that date little latter then sooner.
Driven by the MASSIVE multi-national energy conglomerates and their millions in sleaze ball contributions, the selected Bush Administration has been pushing to drill in the Artic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR), a pristine coastal plain on the North Slope of Alaska, since the day they ran old Slick Willy out of office. Oil companies are just plain DROOLING to get that what experts believe is enough oil under the ANWR to feed the US energy needs for a whole SIX months. "Drooling, why are they drooling?", you might ask. Because this is much better oil then you can get in the Middle East, that's why. Then you might ask, "What makes this oil so much better?" Because this oil is owned by the US Taxpayer and entrusted to and managed by the US Department of Interior... and the oil companies find that it is very easy to get the Interior Department to lower the royalty rates it charges them for privilege of extracting and selling our oil. The oil companies are figuring to make BILLIONS even on this relatively modestly oil field simply by robbing the US taxpayer. And if there is anything that gets companies drooling it is BILLIONS of dollars of profit. I think they also get off on screwing all the little people, but that's a story for a different article.
Unfortunately for the unbridled greed of the oil companies, a little over a week ago some government bureaucrat, who doesn't necessarily agree that the oil companies should be given carte blanche on the North Slope, released a 12 year study that "proves" that drilling in ANWR will damage the caribou herds that live there. Many people (including myself) have some reservations with this report. The author is clearly in a position to be biased and even the worst case he describes doesn't yield all that much damage to the herds of caribou. But still, the guy did work on the report for 12 years, so you have to give him some credit.
However, the report goes against everything the selected Bush Administration stands for, which is in case you haven't been paying attention lately is, MORE CORPORATE PROFITS. Much more corporate profits. The more the BETTER. I can just see them dancing in the Oval Office every time they manage to squeeze another BILLION dollars out of the US Treasury and send it over to their good corporate chums that got them selected in the first place. And fuck all if they haven't been dancing up a storm lately. They've probably wore out the damn carpet already.
Thus, the selected Bush Administration finds itself with a report that might possibly make it miss a dance or two around the President's Desk. Shocking, how could this have happened? Their Masters will not be pleased. So oil industry whore, Interior Secretary Gale A. Norton, whose department issued the report, sets about to fixing it. How does one fix a report 12 years in the making in only 7 days? Why you lie, of course. A spin here and dodge there and a very, very stern talking to the guy who wrote the report, letting him know that there are plenty of openings for report writers and caribou counters at the South Pole. And BLAM, the next thing you know Secretary Norton is saying "Ooooppps, our bad, the 12 year study was wrong, and we reran the numbers yesterday and what do you know, there is no damage the caribou herds. Thanks for listening, nothing to see here, now go watch some TV or something and leave us alone to dance in our newest big pile of money."