Shrub's Axis of Stupidity
2002-03-17 15:02:43
Our Commander in Chief recently named an "Axis of Evil." But the real danger is his own Axis of Stupidity.
Most Americans realize that the present occupant of the White House wasn't really, you know, popularly elected, but jimmied his way into the mansion by virtue of family connections (Daddy's friends plus a very helpful brother who just happened to be Florida's Governer), lots of Enron political slush-money that earlier bought the Shrub keys to the Texas Governer's mansion, topped off by an uncharacteristically counter States-Rights decision by a supposedly conservative Supreme Court. But we can handle it, since such skullduggery has been just under the surface in US politics for awhile now. The CIA likely shot John Kennedy to keep him from shutting down the heroin cashflow in Southeast Asia. Nixon got caught targeting a domestic "enemies list" and sending burglars into the Democratic National Committee. Reagan's spear-chuckers devised a very creative double-Faustian bargain with "arms for hostages" to ensure Carter's defeat by simultaneously pandering to Iran's ruling assholes and propping up the CIA sponsored murderous military in Nicaragua. It's clear that big money buys national politics and our national politicians are all just whores to Big Oil and Hollywood. What else is new?
Well, what's new is that we've got a dummy in the White House, Enron buddies in Cabinet and other senior positions, a fundamentalist Attorney General, a media-whore FCC Chairman, and a Big-5 lobbyist SEC Chairman. We also have a few real problems, like a new forever War On Terrorism, an old forever War On Drugs, budget surpluses that magically reversed into inflationary budget deficits, a military spending spree that dwarfs Star Wars, and by-the-way, a recession with millions of people out of work, extensions to unemployment benefits (like that really helps), and rampant stupidity.
One doesn't know which is more alarming, Dubya's stupidity or his corporate handlers led by Dick Cheney. After all, the country did survive Gerald Ford's administration. But GW just seems to be piling dumb on dumber as he spends more of his time mismanaging our affairs. He started by pissing off 90% of the world by rejecting US commitments to resolving global warming issues. Then he declares an open-ended war on terrorists (who by definition can't be confronted easily), cripples all the airlines - a major factor in the economy - with a bunch of stupid "security" rules that dissuade travelers without doing anything really more secure, effectively tramples all over Constitutional Rights, forgives the most virulent monopoly threatening technology competition in this next century, pushes a hopeless missile defense boondoggle, names an Axis of Evil gratuitously, gives the finger to Russia, Iran, and China with a leaked nuclear retargeting study, stirs the pot in the Middle East further without any real plan, and talks tough about Saddam Hussein without means to back it up. All taken together, this has to qualify as genius level fucking-up on a global scale. Dubya and friends must work at this.
Bush lite, Cheney, Ashcroft, White, Powell Jr., and Wolfowitz, et al . . . a clear and present danger, an Axis of Stupidity. I for one simply hope we will live long enough to vote all these lame and dangerous bastardos emphatically out of power.

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)