Build Date: Sun Mar 8 03:30:09 2026 UTC
You've been smoking too much pot and reading too much RAW, Mr. Hagbard Celine Dion.
-- Ratsnatcher
So Gore Could Have Won
2001-11-11 21:15:12
Immediately following the fiasco of the Florida Presidential elections late last year, many of the top news organizations in the lull that occurred between Clinton's dick and the apocalypse of 9-11, funded a study to recount the votes in Florida.
The study has been ready for sometime, but the news powers that be decided to hold off with releasing the results until the avalanche of war news slowed to a dull thunder. That apparently happened sometime during the middle of last week as even the most jacked up supporters of the "Bomb Afghan to rubble" crowd finally realized that all Afghanistan contains is rubble and that we now engaged in a never ending war of turning big rocks into little rocks. So with the war news slowing, the final and very unofficial results of the Florida election are now in.
If, as Gore wanted, only the four counties where the most "mistakes" were recounted, Bush would have still had more votes then Gore. However, if the recount had been statewide, Gore would now be President with a unbelievably slender 70 vote margin. The Supreme Court's coup d'etat last November, where the conservative majority voted 5-4 to stop the counting and then ruled that the counting had stopped so Bush was the winner, prevented the possibility of that recount happening. Not that there was ever any hope for Gore and his minions, the deck was stacked against him as the Republican dirty trick squads had completely infested the Sunshine State by that point.
And while the margin of error in the vote greatly exceeded the margin of victory, it certainly does seem to many that the "will of the people" was ignored and that the man now sitting in the White House is the wrong one.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
This is one for the Ages. Our new signature SMRL drink. We beta tested this several weeks ago at the Goat Brothers B-Day Party. Oh my! (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
Last week I had eye surgery and it was certainly one of the least enjoyable episodes of my life. Eye Surgeons like their patients to be conscious enough so that they can move their eyes to the proper position during surgery. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
