Build Date: Fri Jul 17 16:50:19 2026 UTC
Linux means never having to delete your love mail.
-- Don Marti
Have Sex? Get Stoned!
2002-04-19 20:49:28
Wait, isn't that out of order?
Well, remind me not to ever have sex in Pakistan. I mean, yeah, probably everything would be OK because I'm a man and men almost never get tapped for this sort of thing, but, well, it's the principle of the thing. Besides, I don't think I could get it up in any country that pulls shit like this.
OK, here's the deal: a Pakistani woman named Zafran Bibi has been convicted of adultery and sentenced to death. That would be death by stoning.
Not that there is any good way to be killed, mind you, but stoning seems like a particularly unpleasant way to go. Maybe if it was one really big rock dropped on you, but that's not how this works. Stoning means a bunch of people stand in a circle around you and play "dunk the clown" with you except that instead of aiming at the little target they're throwing stuff at you directly. And there's no pool of water to fall into. And they aren't softballs or even baseballs that are being thrown. They're rocks. Or, well, stones I guess you might say.
Now anyone who has ever been hit by a rock can tell you it's no damn fun. Now multiply this again and again until you're dead. Yeah. Exactly. Not a good way to go.
And for what? She had sex with someone who wasn't her husband. I mean come on! If we applied that kind of law here in the States there wouldn't be any women left, just a bloody pool and some virgins.
Reading the news is going to ruin my whole Friday night. Remind me not to do this again.

T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
When you've been up all night sampling other Spocktails and guzzling absinthe, you need a morning pick-me-up with some KICK. Time for a tall glass of Blurry Sharp Meltdown! (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)