Build Date: Tue Sep 23 07:30:15 2025 UTC
Would there be room for people as cynical as us amongst you warm-hearted individuals?
-- Lee
Wicked Witch Glimmers Clue
2002-02-05 19:20:41
Amidst the recent dramas of killing friendly Afghans, letting corporate bastardos shred evidence, and watching politicos forget they got bought, a little bomblet snuck under the radar and almost made me drop my drink.
In a boring hearing intended to confirm that she wasn't going to really do anything for awhile, Federal Judge Marilyn Hall Patel allowed as how she might, maybe somehow, have glimpsed the possibility of a real clue. This is surprising because earlier she'd ruled like she'd been paid off (maybe she was - but in that case she apparently might not stay bought).
What she said was that she intends to entertain a fresh discovery phase of the Napster case to see whether the major music labels ("a bunch of knuckle-dragging thieves and hooligans" according to Eben Moglen of the Electronic Frontier Foundation) may have abused their music copyrights.
Now I ain't no lawyer (hell, us Space Marines see a lawyers convention as a potential "target rich environment"), but it sounds like Napster's Wicked Witch of the West might reconsider, and slam it to the Music Weasel oligopoly.
Quick tour. A couple of hundred years ago British publishers purchased laws that interpreted copyright as a monopoly, now the large publishing companies in Europe are based in... the Netherlands and Germany. About 1900, music publishers tried to ban sheet-music - settled for royalties. When cassette tapes appeared, the Music Weasels tried to ban tape recorders. VCRs, same thing, but that resulted in the Home Recording Act, a setback for big media. Now twenty some years on, they want to kill off Fair Use and impose pay-to-play (every single effing play, they dream) for music, TV shows, movies, and anything else that's digital content, they can own.
Somewhere along the way ASCAP and BMI got established. These are simply retirement farms for former mob leg-breakers who aren't up to hard work, hijacking armored cars and shit anymore, so they "retire" into extorting "performance" fees from jukebox owners and public places which play CDs. This is the gawd's truth on the ground about the "music industry" kiddos.
Part of what the Napster case is really about is their insatiable hunger to extend this extortion into your home. Pay-to-play, every fuckin time. If big music has its way, you'll get overweight goons at your front door wearing dark plastic shirts with light polyester ties, with US Marshalls, ready to take you to jail unless you pay for that CD burned for your S.O.
Never mind that they extort the copyrights from the actual musicians then claim they're "protecting musician's rights" in litigating their bullshit. The fact is, a musician is lucky to see 5 cents of every dollar in sales, once the big music accounting scams are finished. Ask any "signed" band. The "creative accounting" in major entertainment biz makes Enron's oopsie look like a neighborhood gas station with two sets of paper ledger books.
Therefore, let us hope that Judge Marilyn Hall Patel gains further clues.
And a man must believe in something: I believe I will pour another shot.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
The IBM Selectric Typewriter Changed My Life
I ran my hands lovingly across her frame, lightly brushing her metallic nipples with my fingers, admiring the shapes and the ways of her curves, the empathetic hum she produced as I had my way with her, the way she made it all seem so effortless and right... she didn't even seem to mind the way I roughly manipulated her knobs and tweaked her casing. She was extremely tolerant, for a typewriter. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)