Build Date: Thu May 1 00:30:36 2025 UTC
I'd like to see a play about Trotsky, Einstein and Magic Johnson, and they use a time machine to fight crime throughout history.
-- Tjames Madison
Thank you El Destino
2001-11-14 03:47:24
I have been sitting here looking that ridiculous French.... err... self-described Gonzo Journalism site, wondering how the fuck to respond to the request for a link exchange that their webmaster was proposing. I mean, I respect Gonzo Journalism and try to help out where I can, so I was trying to figure how to establish some sort of rapport. So I kept looking that the site and well my brain just couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. Then I read El Destino's article and I got a clue.
Boy was I fucked up!!! I don't know what the HELL I was thinking. What a complete and utter Dumbass I've been. I'll blame it on the lack of booze in my system (a condition I've recently rectified). Thankfully, after reading El Destino's recent article, I was immediately bitch slapped back into reality mode and I saw what a piece of shit that French site is. Gonzo Journalism my ass.
That French site not only sucks large donkey balls, but it is clearly not Gonzo Journalism - French interpretation not with standing. It's got a fucking mauve background for christ sakes. Mauve??? Gonzo Journalism might be a lot of things, but mauve it ain't. And you don't dress HST up in a clown outfit. Hunter is not a clown on the outside. Don't you see that??? Man what a dumb fuck I was. Gonzo Journalism isn't Gonzo Journalism because some dumbass Frenchman says it is... it is Gonzo Journalism because it is Journalism done in the Gonzo method - hard core, no prisoners taken, no holes barred, damn the torpedos, full speed ahead.
And now the fucking spell has been broken. God damn French bastards, playing with my mind like that... I hate you all. I know why Peter Sellers has been the only English speaking actor to ever successfully portray a Frenchmen - because he played them completely straight - like the bumbling fools that they are!!! Damn, I'm sorry he's dead. We need to stop trying to appease the French with the modicum of respect we usually give most Western cultures and lay it on the line for them... you lost, dudes! French is a dying, useless language, used by an effeminate people who are annoying everyone on the planet. Time to be smart and switch to English now, before it is to late.
So anyway, le webmaster du dumbass du neo gonzo, you can take your piece of shit "le french gonzo" site and shove it up your ass. Write again and I shall taunt you a second time. And that's a negatory on the link exchange.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)