| OUT | IN |
| Lyin' | Inability to count |
| Aggressive, no nonsense wife | Cookie baking wife |
| Oval Office sex | No sex, period |
| Right wing Clinton bashing | Left wing whining |
| Corporate greed | Extreme corporate greed |
| What's left of the Bill of Rights |
Corporate Rights |
| Laughable National Energy Policy | Energy
Policy??? We don't need no stinkin' Energy Policy! What we need are more oil
wells |
| Homely daughters | Cuter daughters, but not as fine as Gore's |
| Workaholic President | Best
naps since the Reagan era |
| Problems
understanding what the word "is" means | Problems
understanding what any words mean |
| Arkansas Meth | Texas Coke |
| Don't ask, Don't Tell | Homophobia... but it's OK, because the Bible says so |
| Legal Abortion | Death penalty
for abortionists |
| Debt
reduction | Tax cuts for the wealthy |
| Balanced Supreme Court | Radical right court that attempts to return the U.S. to the 18th
century |
| Governor
Death | President Death |
| Boring, banal VP | VP that runs
the country |
| No more welfare |
Much more corporate welfare |
| Lip service about helping the poor | Government
assistance to the wealthy too so that the top 1% can go from owning 80% of the
wealth to 99% |
| Ranting right wing
talk show hosts | Left wing protest marches ending in
riots |
| East Coast liberal
intellectuals | Texas rednecks |
| Gun control | Mandatory gun ownership |
| God every Sunday | Jesus, Jesus, Jesus and more Jesus every damn day of the week |
| Horrible, misguided and unwinable War
on Drugs | Horrible, misguided and unwinable War on Drugs
minus any sort of treatment programs |
| Sophisticated attempts to disenfranchise unliked minorities |
Jailing of all minorities as it was gonna happen anyway and
this will save a lot of time and effort on trials and evidence fabrication |
| A government that pretended to
care | HAHAHAHAHA |
