Build Date: Wed May 15 10:40:09 2024 UTC
I've been on the road doing comedy for ten years now, so bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plow through this shit one more time.
-- Bill Hicks
What's in, What's out - Version 2001
2001-01-21 21:30:22
So yesterday George "Dubbya" Bush, took the oath of office and became the 43th President of the United States of America. Naturally a new administration in Washington means that there will be a lot of changes and so Pigdog is here to tell you what fads faded into the past with the retirement of Bill Clinton and what are now the hottest trends in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.
OUT | IN |
Lyin' | Inability to count |
Aggressive, no nonsense wife | Cookie baking wife |
Oval Office sex | No sex, period |
Right wing Clinton bashing | Left wing whining |
Corporate greed | Extreme corporate greed |
What's left of the Bill of Rights | Corporate Rights |
Laughable National Energy Policy | Energy Policy??? We don't need no stinkin' Energy Policy! What we need are more oil wells |
Homely daughters | Cuter daughters, but not as fine as Gore's |
Workaholic President | Best naps since the Reagan era |
Problems understanding what the word "is" means | Problems understanding what any words mean |
Arkansas Meth | Texas Coke |
Don't ask, Don't Tell | Homophobia... but it's OK, because the Bible says so |
Legal Abortion | Death penalty for abortionists |
Debt reduction | Tax cuts for the wealthy |
Balanced Supreme Court | Radical right court that attempts to return the U.S. to the 18th century |
Governor Death | President Death |
Boring, banal VP | VP that runs the country |
No more welfare | Much more corporate welfare |
Lip service about helping the poor | Government assistance to the wealthy too so that the top 1% can go from owning 80% of the wealth to 99% |
Ranting right wing talk show hosts | Left wing protest marches ending in riots |
East Coast liberal intellectuals | Texas rednecks |
Gun control | Mandatory gun ownership |
God every Sunday | Jesus, Jesus, Jesus and more Jesus every damn day of the week |
Horrible, misguided and unwinable War on Drugs | Horrible, misguided and unwinable War on Drugs minus any sort of treatment programs |
Sophisticated attempts to disenfranchise unliked minorities | Jailing of all minorities as it was gonna happen anyway and this will save a lot of time and effort on trials and evidence fabrication |
A government that pretended to care | HAHAHAHAHA |
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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