Build Date: Sun Aug 3 22:10:15 2025 UTC
But that was pretty cool how Steven Segal faxed for help using his Newton on that hijacked train in "Under Siege 2." You never know when you might need something less conspicous than a laptop.
-- Ratsnatcher
I'm Drunk and I'm Voting
2000-11-06 02:18:30
That's right Pigdog fans. Johnnie is thoroughly disgusted with the big money corporate run elections we have on Tuesday, I'm going to the polls drunk off my ass.
With Bush's 170 million dollar campaign and Gore's 130 million dollar one, the fucking Secretary of State might as well be honest and print the GM, ATT and Ford logos on the ballot, as this election is brought to you, sponsored by corporations, for corporations. It makes me want to throw up.
Well, I'm not planning on doing that in the voting booth, tho' it is a distinct possibility. Instead, I'm gonna live by my new motto, which is, Vote Early, Vote Drunk.
My new strategy is, after a big breakfast, start mixing drinks around 10am Tuesday morning. Then sometime around 1pm, stumble over to the Quaker church (how ironic) two houses down the street with election pamphlet and a flask of whiskey. Then in the voting booth I will choose. It might take me a while, and I'm bring one of my old ten sided AD&D dice in case I run into a stumper, like which lame ass to vote on to the board of the Central Contra Costa Sanitary Distinct. Ugh.
Still, I figure this process will completely defeat the nearly billion of dollars that have be raised and spent by corporate America to sway my vote. And if it doesn't... well, I'll be to numb to care.
Then after I vote, I will retire my computer where, with a generous supply of booze, I shall watch the election results roll in and cry into my beer that my country has seen fit to elect such losers.
You might fault me, dear Readers, for my insolence about the process of deciding our future... but when you think about, I'm staying true to my beliefs. Can you say the same?
Remember folks, VOTE EARLY, VOTE DRUNK!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
If you broke into Pigdog's top sekrit headquarters, spying on their mysterious mix of weird science and old-skool geekiness, you'd overhear this conversation: (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
