Do you want some pie, boy? - Pigdog Journal

     
 

George Bush, Now With Kung Fu Action Grip
2002-04-19 13:58:29


Coincidence? ...Or Enemy Action?
 
if there's a blind monk somewhere going around saying he was ordered to teach Pol Pot's concubine how to love, i know him.
-- rotten elf

 

Some toy company is now making George Bush and Osama Bin Laden action figures. I wonder if Big George gets to drive around in a special Camping Wagon with his best pal Big Tony, and then decapitate a rogue beaver with his chainsaw, like I used to make Big Jim do?

The toy company, herobuilders.com, doesn't use Bush's real name, but simply identifies the sneaky squint-eyed bastard as "Our Hero"; also represented are Tony Blair ("The Ally,") and Rudy Giuliani ("The Rock"). The latest introduction to the line-up of action figures is Bin Laden, his true identity celeverly disguised as "Osama Bin Laden".

Although each figure comes only with a standard sort of action figure jumpsuit, each can be posed with the sort of action figure accessories easily obtained at any toy store. So if you want to have Dubya fighting with a big snake, go for it. What I'd really like to see is Bush fighting Spock to the death with light sabers, so I will probably have to obtain one of these things somehow.

bin Laden

herobuilders.com also claims they can make a personalized action figure out ofanyone, which seems real creepy to me. But maybe it's something Pigdog should look into: GASP as Johnnie Royale swings on a vine, clutching a keg of Guinness! THRILL as El Snatcher fights the Illuminati Assassins armed only with a pointy stick! OOZE with anticipations as Mr. Bad slithers toward a karate-chopping finale with a big board laid out across two tiny plastic cinder blocks!

Or maybe not. I'm not sure I could resist the temptation to set fire to any doll that looked like me. That might be a problem in a crowded place, like a restaurant or pub, and certainly wouldn't make for a wise investment.

It just occured to me that you could make Action George and Action Tony do weird sex things with each other. Huh. I wonder if I'm strange for thinking that.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

kunst@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny

GNUisance
by El Snatcher, Mr. Bad

Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
by Flesh

Solex vs. the Pigdog
by The Compulsive Splicer

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

05-03

Baron Earl

When will the abuse of airline passengers stop?

05-03

El Destino

Hillbilly miner turned coder wants to make Kentucky into "Silicon Holler"

03-31

El Destino

86-year-old William Shatner cast in a new romantic comedy: 'Senior Moment'

03-19

El Destino

New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk

01-26

Flesh

Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

03-31

Baron Earl

Creating a wall-hangable computer from an Ikea shadow box frame

More Quickies...