Build Date: Thu May 1 05:40:55 2025 UTC
You can turn your back on a person, but, never turn your back on a drug. Especially when it's waving a razor-sharp hunting knife in your eye.
-- HST
A Killer Meal (Literally)
1999-10-25 14:57:03
It is well known. You cannot drink your way through life (though, believe me, we here in SMRL's Beverage Research Center have tried many times). You must eat sooner or later. And what you eat will play a great factor in your ability to KEEP MOVING.
Now is not the time to go shuffling off to just anywhere. You now require nourishment. So take a seat here in front of the grill, and prepare to savor our delightful gastronomic delight!
The Oakie-Doakie Dog
Anyone who has spent time in Los Angeles (longer than a week), or is a die-hard Germs fan, will no doubt be familiar with the cheap and thoroughly sickening fast food stand, known as Oakie-Dogs. Used to be that for just a few bucks, you could fill up on cheap food of questionable origin, and be ready to jump back into the chaos in no time. Sadly, not only is one of the two original stands gone the way of the buffalo, but I am told that the remaining one has upped their prices and serves food of much blander/less-filling quality.
What a shame. But here's the good news: Our crack team of Eastern European Eliminators was recently dispatched, and has recovered a copy of the original recipe for the award winning Oakie-Dog. Unfortunately, we did not know that this sacred recipe is under guard by a clan of female Mexican Ninjas living in the hills of Oakland, CA. So, in order to avoid another bloody battle, a treaty has been drawn up, and the recipe has been slightly altered.
But to insure that this is a dish we would not only be proud to serve & eat with you, but will also not kill you, the bartenders at the Deathwave Bar & Grill were force-fed this dish we present to you. And now. . .
The Oakie-Dokie Dog
Ingredients:
- 2 Hotdogs. Preferably kosher, but any will do.
- 1 Tortilla shell. Super jumbo size.
- 1/2 to 1 can chili (spicier is better)
- 2 cups American cheese- grated up
- 1 jar Khatsa brand Tibetan Fire Sauce
Preparation:
- Cook hotdogs.
- Cook chili.
- Steam shell.
- Place tortilla on plate.
- Place hotdogs on tortilla.
- Slice hotdogs open.
- Spread liberal amounts of khatsa in hotdogs
- Dump chili on hotdogs.
- Dump cheese on chili.
- Wrap the whole works up like you are making a burrito.
- Eat.
[NOTE: Have Pepto or your favorite Spocktail standing by.... ]
Vegetarian version- There is none whatsoever. You ain't eating this for your health, boyo.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
My dear and close friend, Porn Maven Shannon Mariemont, sent me a titillating message the other day about her new project: the PornOrchestra. Her desire, at most, is to reinvent the porn soundtrack and, at least, to receive a cease-and-desist order like all her cool friends did last year. (More...)
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
For all you Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAG) out there who complain about not getting laid, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Women only like to have sex with jerks. (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
First in a regular series! The Pigdog Journal Spocktail of the Week features recipes for EXCITING and DELICIOUS potions and tonics for your quaffing pleasure! Gulp down a whole lot TODAY! (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
