Celebrity endorsement impersonated

     
 

A Taste of Long Beach
1999-11-19 15:25:23


Dining At The Deathwave Grill
 
Of what need is comedy if there is beer?
-- Head Freezin' Gene

 

If you say "Long Beach" to people in California, you'll probably get a response similar to if you were to say "Hey what's with all the dogshit on your face?" But most people don't know that this rough-and-tumble working-class town has given the world one of the all-time greatest foods known: The Long Beach Chili Cheese Fries.

It should be noted that just like the Philadelphia Cheesesteak Sandwich, or a Mission Burrito, unless you know exactly how it's prepared, you'll either fuck it up, or you won't get a taste of the real McCoy. So, I went to great expense to find out what the secret ingredients were to make LB Beach Chili Cheese Fries so special and unique. Many rebel spies paid with their life to bring you this. Don't let it go to waste.

Long Beach Chili Cheese Fries

  • 1 bag of French fries (or three potatoes)
  • 1 container of Lowrey's Seasoning Salt
  • 1 can of chili (no beans preferred)
  • 3 cups cheese
  • 1/2 onion
Open chili, start slow-cooking (an hour before making fries is recommended). Take fries, season liberally with Lowrey's Seasoning Salt (some people will put fries in plastic bag along with the salt and do the shake & bake trick). Once fries have turned somewhat orange, deep fry those puppies! If you can't deep-fry, you can make them in the oven with just a tad of oil or cooking spray so the seasoning will stick. Once fries have cooked, put on a tray or plate. Shake a bit more seasoning salt (to taste). Cover fries in chili. Cover chili in cheese. Cover cheese in onions. Cover everything in Tabasco sauce.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

guvnor@pigdog.org


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