Build Date: Thu Mar 28 08:40:07 2024 UTC
The 9/16 wrench: simple in form, near universal in function, and missingfrom every goddamn toolbox I've ever owned, borrowed or stolen.
-- gomonk
Air Marshals Act To Reduce Medicare Costs
2005-12-08 07:57:44
Reducing the Medicare rolls one nut at a time.
On December 7th federal air marshals shot and killed a passenger at Miami International Airport when he claimed to have a bomb in his backpack and then ran away. While I'm sure the officers in question were thinking, "Hell, this is about as clear cut a reason to shoot someone in the back as I'm ever likely to have," there were a few factors that might reasonably have suggested a less lethal course of action.
First among these would probably be the presence of the passenger's wife, screaming that the "bomber" was mentally ill and off his meds. Second, it seems just a tad unlikely that an actual bomber would run from an airplane densely packed with potential victims rather than just exploding his bomb where he stood. While I understand these things can happen quickly, and law enforcement officers are forced to make snap decisions, I must admit that the circumstances were questionably compelling with regard to the use of deadly force -- especially given that the passenger had already passed through security.
But then I realized that it happened in Florida, a state that prides itself on being at the forefront of the battle to reign in Big Government. With this in mind, an possible explanation presents itself. Perhaps in addition to being trained to recognize passengers fitting the profile of a terrorist, marshals based in Florida have been trained to recognize passengers fitting the profile of the chronically ill or disabled. For the cost of a couple of bullets, the marshals could save US taxpayers hundreds of thousands or potentially millions of dollars over the course of time the passenger would otherwise have lived.
In any case, the NYT has an article about it. Check it out and draw your own conclusions.
T O P S T O R I E S
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
Health and Human Services officials spend a year on pot
After a yearlong, comprehensive, thorough, complete investigation into the effects of marijuana usage, Health and Human Services (HHS) officials recommended that it be moved from Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act to Schedule III, meaning that the HHS no longer considers cannabis to be a drug with high abuse potential and no medical value. (More...)
If you've ever wondered what actual bullshit looks like, just check the back side of Lee Meyers' decommissioned police cruiser. Lee chopped the top of the passenger side of the car off so he could take his full-grown Watusi bull, named Howdy Doody, for joy rides around his home town of Neligh, Nebraska. Since the car doesn't have bathroom facilities Howdy Doody just craps all over the back and side of the car whenever he feels the need to let one go. (More...)
Self-righteous assholes block highway to Burning Man
A group of self-righteous assholes converted exactly zero people to their cause by blocking the highway to Burning Man this week. The group, which used a flimsy trailer, some lengths of chain, and a few folding chairs to block the road, put up signs including "Burners of the World Unite," but none of the burners stopped in traffic wanted to unite with them for anything. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Hooray! At long last, a NEW Spocktail of the Week! Kid-tested, mother-approved! (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)