Build Date: Wed Feb 21 16:00:15 2024 UTC

Please don't hurt me!
-- Nick Moffit

Naked Tits Save Lives

by LiquorPig

2006-11-20 09:13:11

In an effort to curb speeding in high-traffic areas, the Danes have hit on a new idea: beautiful half-naked women attract more attention than boring old street signs.

The Danes--inventors of the answering machine and Lego--have a problem. People keep speeding through their quaint city streets, spreading very un-Scandinavian mayhem and destruction. To combat this problem, the Danish Road Safety Council has begun hiring beautiful buxom women to call attention to speed limits. The ladies--known as the "Speed Control Bikini Bandits"--stand on the side of the road in the skimpiest of outfits holding speed limit signs. It's hard to ignore the speed limit when you can't take your eyes off the gorgeous topless woman pointing out that you are going too fast.

Will the new program curb speeding? Perhaps, but the opposite problem may occur: people slowing down to a crawl to gawk at the street signs. Heidi Svendson, head Bikini Bandit, says that she doesn't care what people think: "If people are slowing down, we have done our jobs, and since we are the world's best we will continue to do our jobs."

Hats off to Heidi and her Bikini Bandits, and here's hoping for a mild winter.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

ozzyluvr@pigdog.org

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