Naked with a Cat
2001-10-06 13:40:55
72 naked women; one cat. Do I have to tell you how disturbing this is?
A Venice, California webmaster is sharing his new twist on pornography. 24 pages, each displaying three different naked women -- holding a gray cat. ("I was saved from certain death by a kind but exploitive photographer," the cat explains in a 900-word essay.)
"The web is full of pictures of cats," noted the culture newsletter PopBitch. "And it is also full of pictures of naked women. But if you want loads of pictures of naked women holding a cat, then this is the only site for you."
It's so weird that it's almost disorienting. LittleGrayGuy.com offers women details on how they can realize their own ambitions of posing naked with a cat. ("Calling all naked human females!" the cat cajoles.) The talkative and apparently quite literate feline even has a message for other creatures in the animal kingdom. "If you'd like to email me a picture of you...and your naked human female(s), I'll post the pictures on the site." But perhaps the most demented feature is a two-minute movie which I've dubbed "The cat, the women, and the bowling alley"... Women go to a bowling alley, then hike their tops up near a giant photograph of the forlorn gray cat. As bowling pins clatter in the background, blue-collar men pose with the women and their cat-shaped sign, sometimes groping their breasts. In the stirring conclusion, a large-breasted blond rubs her ass against the sign.
I think it was Suzanne Somers -- but I'm probably wrong.
One other movie on the site deserves special mention. Cradling a meowing cat, 21-year-old Katie shares a message with the site's fans. "Hey guys, it's me Katie...and I'm going off to prison today." Yes, "Federal Prisoner Katie's Special Page" reminds us that even women who pose naked holding cats can be swept up in this nation's senseless war on drugs.
Let's pause for a minute and think a kind thought for 21-year-old Katie. (You can even write her in prison! katie in prison @ hotmail . com)
Like I said, it's disturbing -- and I don't even want to think about the cat's viewpoint on all this. ("I like peace and tranquility and harmony--not naked human females," the cat complains on one page.) But that hasn't stopped the webmasters from offering pre-shrunk t-shirts with the home page's URL.
If you click on the 72 images, the site displays dozens more photos of each woman. (And there's even a couple where they AREN'T holding the damn cat!) But about the only thing positive I can say about the site is that it's very Los Angeles. It's a testimonial to the unsquelchable freaks that get spawned by a culture that values just exposure and hedonism.
Even Katie promises at the end of her video that she'll be out of prison in a few months -- and ready to shoot more photographs with the cat.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)