As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I'm doing or why you're paying me so much money. What's important is that you continue to do so. -- Dr. Gonzo
A teacher flashed her bra in front of a high school classoom. After the school fired her,
she took off her shirt and "waved it in protest as she drove out the school parking lot."
But wait! There's more...
Right now you're thinking "topless teacher" and wondering what thought process leads a
woman to this outburst of free-spirited retribution. A substitute teacher is lecturing a
bunch of high school students, one of whom calls her class boring. "What? My class is
not boring!" you imagine her saying. "Feast your eyes upon my lingerie-clad
But wait -- it's a sports bra. Okay, that's still kind of a weird way to get a kid's
attention, but the teacher was thinking of it as more of an under shirt. The real problem
was this was a Catholic high school. The story got told and re-told throughout
repressive conservative classrooms, and eventually the Archdiocese of Los Angeles handed
down an official pronouncement that bra-flashing -- even sports bra flashing --
interfered with the school's important work of instilling guilt.
Yet some rebellious spirit preserves the legend of the topless teacher. Suddenly the
school is fielding calls from both Inside Edition and CNN, while the teacher
entertains queries from from Playboy, Good Morning America, and CBS. Is a Britney
Spears-style exercise bra really a job-terminating infraction, the media asks? Besides,
goes the undeclared subtext -- we think bra flashing is cool.
And so a sports bra becomes a bra -- because it's a better story that way. The heroine
of a new urban legend stands in brassiere-clad defiance in a Catholic school's parking
lot, and the Zeitgeist screams "You are not alone!" -- conjuring images of cheering on
the high school teacher who finally doffed her shirt.