Did the President's daughter pierce her clitoris -- and then flaunt the jewelry to
impress a Hollywood actor? And was she high at the time?
That's what an online columnist is reporting, as America's Jenna-watching continues...
At Underground.net, "Asterisk" examines the Jenna issue. Scouring newspaper articles --
and interviewing Salon's Jake Tapper -- the columnist first wonders if Jenna's underaged
drinking has found an ally in the people themselves. A source in Hollywood paints a
poignant picture of Jenna's quest for understanding in the welcoming arms of Los Angeles.
"A lot of people do feel sorry for her... I mean, who didn't party in their college
years, and imagine that rite of passage being snatched away from you."
And thus it was that Jenna revealed her pierced clitoris to a fellow Hollywood
party-goer, the source reports. "She actually looked totally off of her head when she
first came up to us," they remember. It's a tellingly American story. Trapped in an
arch-conservative political family, Jenna clings to her touching faith that somewhere out
there in the land of the free waits a sympathetic onlooker...
But in a diverse and wild country, empathy can take many forms. The Bush administration
had blackballed all reporters at Talk magazine because the magazine ran a photo shoot parodying Jenna's visit to a Texas prison. So shortly before he
left for Burning Man, the journalist behind Underground's article -- "Piercing
Double-Talk" -- reports that he spent "my entire $300 tax refund check on bundles of Talk
magazines, which I adorned with appropriate jewelry on the appropriate pages in the
appropriate places, and then sent off to a ranch on the outskirts of Waco, TX."