We're not like the others.  We really hate you.

     
 

George's Wild Daughter
2001-03-07 22:22:29


Bush Family Hijinx
 
Fuck you-all. There are no innocent bystanders.
-- Crackmonkey

 

"Get ready, America! Here comes George W's wild daughter." Newspapers nationwide are running stories about the drunken antics of the President's daughter.

"Pals say she's a hard-drinking party animal," reads the caption on a National Enquirer photo of a drunken Jenna Bush stumbling onto another woman at a frat party. "Oops, she did it again," the paper adds.

But it's not just the Enquirer covering the drunken Mardi Gras party, which was ultimately raided by Texas police. Jenna Bush was photographed with another student later arrested for public intoxication. The New York Times ran an Associated Press story citing jail-keepers who say Jenna Bush called asking when he'd be released, and the Dallas News adds that photos of Jenna Bush at the frat party mysteriously disappered from an official web site.

The Enquirer reports Jenna Bush has a reputation "as a wild party girl." "I've seen her three times in bars and she's never looked sober," one fellow student told the paper. The tabloid even tells the story of how Jenna agreed to model dresses for a charity fashion show, but "Unfortunately, she got a little smashed." Their conclusion? "One of the toughest domestic issues George W. Bush faces in the next few years is how to control his hard-drinking daughter."

Jenna's mother, Laura Bush, once ran a stop sign and killed another Texas driver, according to the watchdogs at Bush Watch. Now if you're interested in keeping an eye on W's hard-drinking daughter, the site's gossip page offers ongoing coverage....

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

punchbowl@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Absinthia: The Pigdog Interview
by El Snatcher, Mr. Bad

Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
by Flesh

Solex vs. the Pigdog
by The Compulsive Splicer

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny

09-29

El Destino

Zeitgeist's Legendary 'Tamale Lady' Dies Just Weeks Before Opening Her Long-Awaited Restaurant

02-23

Baron Earl

Cliff Burton Day in Castro Valley

02-23

El Destino

When Spock met PLATO

12-28

El Destino

A musical reminder: Don't Say GIF

12-22

El Destino

Devo's one and only Christmas song

12-04

El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

More Quickies...