ATI! Because it kind of rocks.


George's Wild Daughter
2001-03-07 22:22:29

Bush Family Hijinx
EVERYTHING IS BETTER IN THE ASS. Cocaine, wine, coffee, nitrous (supposedly quite dangerous), sushi, "Little Mermaid" DVDs, cat food, Forth: EVERYTHING is better if you put it in your ass. Everything!
-- The Mighty Silverback


"Get ready, America! Here comes George W's wild daughter." Newspapers nationwide are running stories about the drunken antics of the President's daughter.

"Pals say she's a hard-drinking party animal," reads the caption on a National Enquirer photo of a drunken Jenna Bush stumbling onto another woman at a frat party. "Oops, she did it again," the paper adds.

But it's not just the Enquirer covering the drunken Mardi Gras party, which was ultimately raided by Texas police. Jenna Bush was photographed with another student later arrested for public intoxication. The New York Times ran an Associated Press story citing jail-keepers who say Jenna Bush called asking when he'd be released, and the Dallas News adds that photos of Jenna Bush at the frat party mysteriously disappered from an official web site.

The Enquirer reports Jenna Bush has a reputation "as a wild party girl." "I've seen her three times in bars and she's never looked sober," one fellow student told the paper. The tabloid even tells the story of how Jenna agreed to model dresses for a charity fashion show, but "Unfortunately, she got a little smashed." Their conclusion? "One of the toughest domestic issues George W. Bush faces in the next few years is how to control his hard-drinking daughter."

Jenna's mother, Laura Bush, once ran a stop sign and killed another Texas driver, according to the watchdogs at Bush Watch. Now if you're interested in keeping an eye on W's hard-drinking daughter, the site's gossip page offers ongoing coverage....

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

comments powered by Disqus


C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
by Negative Nancy

Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
by Flesh

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny

Sex Crimes of the X-Men
by El Destino


El Destino

The Las Vegas Strip now has robot bartenders


Poindexter Fortran

University of California special collections: now with more Hunter S. Thompson


Baron Earl

Amazing hand-stitched scenes from DUNE


Baron Earl

Contributions to Top Dark Money Spenders


Baron Earl

CES claims dildo is not a robot


Baron Earl

Rep. Steve King wonders how the phrase "white supremacist" became "offensive"


El Destino

Zeitgeist's Legendary 'Tamale Lady' Dies Just Weeks Before Opening Her Long-Awaited Restaurant


Baron Earl

Cliff Burton Day in Castro Valley


El Destino

When Spock met PLATO


El Destino

A musical reminder: Don't Say GIF

More Quickies...