Build Date: Wed Jul 2 02:21:18 2025 UTC
I don't really think I would enjoy puking up raw tuna -- I'm just exaggerting for comic effect.
-- Daisy
Debbie Does Dallas - The Musical
2006-08-24 18:25:26
After a gruelling two-week trip through the motorcycle heart of cowboy America, I returned to San Francisco for a welcome romp through the hilarious smut of Debbie Does Dallas -- The Musical. What a great way to get back into synch with the City and just how wonderfully bent we are here. I mean, seriously -- where else can you go to a stage musical in which the lead actor strolls onstage with his balls hanging out of his underwear?
Set against the backdrop of seventies free sex disco excess, the play picks up on America's future porn superstar when she's still a naive virgin with dreams of one day spreading her legs every Sunday for the Dallas Cowboys. This girl needs to get to Dallas so she can take her rightful place among the other cheerleaders there. Unfortunately, she's broke and has only two weeks to raise the funds for her pilgrimage. Naturally, her clique of fellow cheerleading sluts is eager to help. The all-American way, of course.
What follows is a refreshing reminder to everyone who now claims to be too old to remember just what they did in high school that the kids are not alright. We were horny, conniving, bold little perverts back then. We traded innocence for thrills and never cared about what we were shedding and gaining. In some cases, we left behind our worst parts and gained our freedom. Anywhere, anytime, in front of anyone. Fuck yeah! Girls figured out that guys would pay for it, guys finally got the message that girls often lead them around by the cock. In the end, all the characters get what they so richly deserve -- wisdom, self-discovery, money, and lots of cum.
I haven’t had this much unadulterated fun in a theater since arming and leading an audience for a zombie hunt. This time, though, the flesh is all fresh, the humor slapstick, and the underlying premise of “Teen Services” so wonderfully subversive in these Puritanical times of Viagra necessities and fleeting handjobs. There's enough inside jokes to keep the perverts giggling, and enough seduction to wet the panties of even the dreariest bankruptcy litigator. If you've been missing some zip from your fuck-a-holic sex life lately, this is definitely the show for you. Take a partner. Take two. Hell, take three and make a scene. The cast and management will love you for it.
The show runs Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays through September 3rd at the Eureka Theater in San Francisco. For tickets and more information, hit: www.debbiesf.com.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
If you broke into Pigdog's top sekrit headquarters, spying on their mysterious mix of weird science and old-skool geekiness, you'd overhear this conversation: (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
