Yay Segfault.org GAR GAR GAR Whoopee HOORAY!

     
 

Fun and Flames at Survival Research Labs
2001-06-09 11:11:55


Art Fux
 
sodium pentothol is yummy
-- Sylvia

 

Our intrepid reporter and gonzo journalist, CrackMonkey, went to the Survival Research Labs and artcar demolition derby in San Francisco last night and got demolished. He filed this report which we now post for posterity here in the Pigdog Journal, where Bad People of Future stay informed.


Fuq, okay, so I'm writing this little report while pretty goddamn drunk off of all the shit that we drank tonight. It all seems to have hit me right about now, so this is gonna be interesting.

Stephane and I convened at the Glen Park BART station to rearrange our wares and prepare the thermos o' Cap'n Emad's Land Yo' Sorry Arse In Th' Brig ArrrrrrrUM!

We bought cokes for innocuous beverage factor, and headed onto the 23 on our way to ACE auto wrecking for the SRL show.

The Devo impersonators seemed a lot more like Beastie Boys impersonators to us, so maybe that was just the opening act. We sat on the tires and drank our spocktails out of specially designed techno-beveratology devices and watched the ensuing Images Of The Future.

SRL shows are all like you're in The Future and it's full of Bad People. Everyone's all done up in goofy shit, and there's big ass Machines and people in Alien Bug costumes doing Crazy Techno Ambient and there's people in Bullhorns making Cop Noise and it's all just woo woo woo bzzzt frsshhhh zzzzap!

Fuq, this rum is evil shit, man.

Okay, trying to focus here...

phew!

So they lit these boards on fire and stuck firecrackers in the ass of 2x4s and shot them, flaming with aluminomagnesiastic fanfare into flats full of computer monitors and chaos and future tech and shit and BOOM and BANG and lots a lights.

It was great, and the guy wand'ring round in his orange stilt suit with TV cameras and buglook and bullhorns and crazyfu was drowned out by the engine that deliberately backfires because they have big ass sparkplugs on the exhaust and keep the mix rich as fuck.

But then cops REALLY CAME and they SHUT DOWN THE FUTURE so we had to stumble out into the past and look for busses.

We gave up and started looking for BATHROOMS. We went to burger sling and they only had drivethru

We event to the old clamhouse CLOSED FOR THE EVENING.

McDonucks was the same as BK.

Then we come upon Yorgo's Greek Bar and Donut Shop WE NEVER CLOSE and BREAKFAST 24HRS and FREE OUZO!

__ __ _ ____ ___ _ _ _
\ \ / // \ / ___| / _ \| | | | |
\ V // _ \ \___ \| | | | | | | |
| |/ ___ \ ___) | |_| | |_| |_|
|_/_/ \_\____/ \___/ \___/(_)

This regular guy was swearing in Greek and at least I know the dirty words, so it was all fun, and Yorgo the barman had a friend drive us to Zeitgeist where there was THE TAMALE LADY and I had tamales and chocolate and Guinness and rum and YOU ALL MISSED OUT ON THE GREATEST FUCKING NIGHT IN SAN FRANCISCO EVER AND I LAUGH AT ALL YOUR MISFORTUNES!

That is, until tomorrow morning, at which point I will likely be in heavy Regret Mode.

Stay tuned, and all...

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

xandria@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

T O P   S T O R I E S

Fixer-Upper
by Lenny Tuberose

Top Ten Reasons Morrissey Canceled a Show
by Baron Earl

Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
by Thom 'Starky' Stark, Lenny Tuberose, 'Tricky' Rick Moen, Destino

The One Trump Conspiracy That Will Explain Everything
by El Destino

12-04

El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

05-03

Baron Earl

When will the abuse of airline passengers stop?

05-03

El Destino

Hillbilly miner turned coder wants to make Kentucky into "Silicon Holler"

03-31

El Destino

86-year-old William Shatner cast in a new romantic comedy: 'Senior Moment'

03-19

El Destino

New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk

01-26

Flesh

Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

More Quickies...