Build Date: Sun Jul 6 20:50:50 2025 UTC
Nature is a lazy Mother.
-- Anonymous
Paul Vortex
The result of wild night of very kinky sex in a spaceship by passing Grey frat boys on their way to Sirius Prime for spring break and a captured uptight English school marm with a pension for buggery who happened to be alone on a dark country road at just the wrong time, Paul Vortex continually struggles with the natural conflict of being a human trapped in a space alien's body. Abandoned at birth to be raised by a pack of rabid English wild sheep and schooled in the methods of world domination in the mountains of Argentina by the last remaining bands of escaped Nazis, Paul Vortex brings the perfect mix of English passive-aggressiveness and German "urges" to the world of Gonzo Journalism and Bad People of the Future.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2002-08-01
Today it emerged that those DUMB BASTARDS in UK Parliament made another Blunder of Big Proportions! They went and bought the wrong vaccine for small pox!
2002-06-21
It would seem that our Planet narrowly escaped a devastating blow on the 14th of June! An asteroid the size of a football pitch broke the Moon's Orbit and passed a mere 120,000 KM from the Earth!!!
2001-11-24
Few can deny the wonder it would be, to kick back on a comfortable chair upon the Moon, to cast gaze over the Earth, rising in the Morning sun.
Offsite links shared by the author
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
