Build Date: Thu Jul 16 15:00:16 2026 UTC
All the yelling for peace is murder on my hangover
-- Johnny Royale
Downer Cow
Downer Cow is actually descended from a long line of Canadian gypsies. Her medicine is strong. She has the Sight, and due to an acute presentiment of evil, she can never be deceived or caught off guard. You want her watching your back.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2005-11-26
Do you want to give gifts that stand out? Gifts that can't be mistaken for mall drek? Do you want to give a gift that says "love" and maybe "help!"? Don't fight the Wal-Mart crowds, stay home and make a custom hanty for your special someone.
2005-11-12
Do you suffer from "ADD, blood pressure, stress-related problems, body weight, autism" or aging? Of course you do, and that's why you need the Liquid Indium Supplement from Kornax Enterprises.
2003-06-12
Dear god, people! Can't you see the plain facts? It's SQRATpox I'm telling you! And yes it IS a conspiracy.
2003-05-21
Canadians test sick cow's head after aging it for three (3) months. Surprise! It's your favorite, and certainly mine, BSE. I guess good things come to those who wait. Things had been slow on my beat anyway.
2002-07-20
It's no wonder the women of BC are in a bad way. With the men preferring dogs in panties, and women being barred from the Men with Books club, it's understandable that the ladies are feeling a little insecure. But that's no excuse for turning on each other, girls.
2002-02-18
This is what happens when you live in the bleak and boring hinterland of Canadia: "Hrmm... I need something to do. I think I'll start a cult! Yeah! And then... I'll clone my favorite people! Yeah!! And the cult ladies will bear the foetuses. Tres cool! This should keep me amused until the next thaw, or until our alien masters return."
2002-01-09
Want to get some buddies together to take over the United States? Maybe as a secret club? Well, don't you try it in California buster! We've got laws precicely designed to expose your kind.
2001-10-16
Recommended reading for Californians who breathe or touch things.
Offsite links shared by the author
2002-02-17
2001-12-25
2001-12-23
2001-11-19
2000-06-28
When throwing hundreds of squirrels into a jet engine is OUTLAWED, only OUTLAWS will throw hundreds of squirrels into a jet engine. OK, outlaws, and the DUTCH. They'll keep doing it, too.
T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Ah, it's that special time of year again. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, crowded, dangerous streets filled with maniac shoppers rushing to the mall to buy Pokemon action figures, and getting hammered at the Xmas party and insulting the boss's hair weave. That's right: it's time to drink heavily and wait out life's little nagging miseries, holiday variety. Pigdog is here to help. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
If you broke into Pigdog's top sekrit headquarters, spying on their mysterious mix of weird science and old-skool geekiness, you'd overhear this conversation: (More...)
